Today I sit here 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant -- a feat doctors said just a year and a half ago would likely never happen.
"She'll never get pregnant. And if by some chance she does, she'll never make it past the 1st or 2nd trimester."
"She'll have an incompetent cervix, premature labor..." These are the words that my OB told me other people said of my case.
I am here as evidence that my God is an amazing, powerful, mighty God. In July 2006, He gave me a promise through scripture that I would be a mom -- before I knew of the problems with my uterus and just wasn't getting pregnant. I believe there was a reason for this. If I had read that scripture after I found out about the uterus, I think I might have doubted what I heard. The "impossibility"of ever having a baby and bleak outlook later given by doctors collided with what I believed in my heart God had spoken so clearly to me. Where would I place my trust? Who would I believe? Did science in this case trump all? It is so rare. The outcomes were all different -- some devastating -- and there wasn't much information on my condition because it was so rare. A 50/50 shot? The severity of the condition and the grim outlook given by doctors put my faith and what I would believe to the test. Would I take God at His Word, even when things looked impossible?
And then the verse -- my verse, Psalm 113:9 flooded my brain. "He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children." I wish I could say from that moment on I never worried or wondered if the doctor was right. I did. Things did not immediately fall into place as I've detailed here before. Truth is, there was tons more heartache and even more unanswered questions that followed. He was right for a long time. I didn't get pregnant. Procedures didn't work. My faith grew weak and weary and there were many days I questioned what I heard.
But that's where my faith grew -- in those moments of desperation and doubt and in the next moment of hope and unwavering trust. My God wasn't and isn't a vending machine. It was and is real relationship. It's what He wants with all of us. He wants us to be real with Him, to tell Him our doubts and fears, to struggle against Him and at the end of the day, to rest in His arms.
He wants your heart and mine and He wants us to trust Him.
So here I am, full-term, fat and happy! On Monday at exactly 39 weeks, I will deliver a beautiful baby boy by c-section at 8:30 a.m. There was no incompetent cervix issue, no premature labor, and no bedrest.
My God keeps His promises.
We are pretty much ready. I am nervous, excited and scared all at once. We can't wait to meet our miracle baby!
P.S. These pictures are me at 37 weeks!
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