Juno

* Warning: Minor movie spoilers

We went to see the movie, "Juno" the other day. It was really good. It is the story of a teenage girl who gets pregnant and does the heroic thing of placing her baby for adoption. Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman play the adoptive parents. I found myself relating to Jennifer Garner's character so much.

I was reading another blog and she expressed this thought that I totally understood. When Juno meets Vanessa (JG) and Mark (JB), she tells Vanessa how lucky she is to not be pregnant after listing all the "ills" of being pregnant -- having to go to the bathroom all the time, etc. The quick shot to the look on Vanessa's face in return is one that only those who have been touched by infertility probably even noticed. She had a look on her face that I recognized -- a coy smirk, sad, and screaming of "what I wouldn't give," yet merciful too, realizing that like most people, she just didn't understand. It felt so good to identify with JG's character.

Later in the movie, Juno notices that Vanessa has purchased many baby things herself and wonders why she isn't having a baby shower. She'd been disappointed before. She is cautious. I know the feeling. With infertility in general, you just get used to -- and expect to be -- disappointed.

Toward the end of the movie, Juno narrates how she didn't want to see the baby and how the baby never felt like her and Paulie's (the birthfather). "He was always hers," she says. How unbelievably beautiful and unselfish. Well said.

"How do I look?" asks Vanessa to Juno's stepmom upon holding her son for the first time. "Like a new mom...scared sh**less."

And isn't this what THIS is all about anyway? Being a mom? Somehow, when I strip all the emotion and disappointment and doctor's visits and crud of this whole TTC journey away, it really just boils down to the fact that I just want to be someone's mommy. It really helped as we think about our options as we move forward.

In other news, I have to give it to the glucophage for being consistent. Ovulation on cd 17 once again, and a couple positive OPK's to boot. (That's right -- no Ovidrel!)

Go me.