Friday, June 15, 2007

In the Midst of the Storm

Well, the IUI didn't work. I got my period today. And it sucks. I have no idea how my egg got past 49 million supercharged sperm , but it did. I am so very tired of the rejection each month. It's my 20th one, you know. And to add fuel to the fire, my period decided to show up 2 days later than usual -- an added bonus. So much for a shorter cycle.

I am so, so disappointed and just don't understand why. I don't know how I am going to muster the strength to endure another monthly cycle. It's unbearable to think about. I am so, so, so tired of the roller coaster that is my monthly cycle.

I feel like I let everyone down. I am so tired. I just want a baby. I just want a baby.

When will you relent, God?

1 comment:

kate said...

lots of hugs. I found your blog last week and decided to check in to see how your IUI turned out (I'm a fellow UUer), and sigh, I know how you feel. It's unbearable... I know. I often sit and still ask myself why? Why me? Why didn’t it work… Why? And there are never any answers. From a stranger to a stranger... hugs and prayers.