Saturday, July 7, 2007

Still Waiting

So, I thought about taking a picture of all the baby shower and first birthday invitations on my refrigerator just for fun, so you could see the irony of it all. But, I've thrown most of them away, so it probably wouldn't have the effect that I was going for.

I am very preplexed as to what to do. I have a really good friend whose shower is next Saturday, who has been sweet though all of this, and I really want to go to support her, but I'm afraid I'll regret it if I go. It's more of an afternoon tea, rather than a full-blown shower at someone's house, so I thought maybe I could handle it better. I don't know yet.

It's so hard because I really do want to support my friends and go to the parties and showers. I really do! I don't want to miss out and miss connecting with them. I just wish things were different on my end, so it wasn't so dang emotional and hard.

No news on my end. I'm starting to get that sinking feeling again. I have no indication whatsoever that it worked. My husband says though, that even when I do eventually get pregnant, I'll be in shock because I never and probably will never allow myself to think that way in order to protect my heart. I think he's right, unfortunately.

But, I choose to trust God that His plan is better than mine.

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